Half-way through this extremely unpredictable and highly volatile 2010 NFL season I think it is safe to say that many of the teams are looking up or down from a position that many people could not have expected them to be at. Here are my rankings of all 32 teams through the half-way mark.
1. Pittsburgh Steelers- Their defense is still second to none and as long as Big Ben doesn't sneak into any freshman dorms this offense will be good enough for the Steelers to run the table in the AFC.
2. New England Patriots- This team can go to hell. They're defense sucks and they have a white running back and yet they have the best record in the NFL in possibly the best division. Hopefully Tom Brady gets hit hard in the knee again but until that glorious day, they are a team that finds a way to win games and will continue to do so.
3. Baltimore Ravens- People seem to forget about this team. They have quietly been very good so far this season. They have beaten both the Steelers and Jets and almost beat NE in overtime. Ray-Ray is going to break out soon and Ed Reed's return completes the U swagger that Ray Lewis' defense possesses.
4. New York Jets- It kills me to rate the Jets this high. Fireman Ed is a glorified drunk who somehow has become the working man's hero for everyone from Cortland to Secaucus. Does he even work? Stop showing a guy, who can't even defend his territory against a 150 pound drunk Giants fan, on TV! Anyways, fat Rexy's defense is the second best in the league and the Sanchez led offense is very good when they're clicking. They can mash with the best of them in the NFL.
5. New York Giants-This team was supposed to be a joke this year and all of a sudden they're the best team in the NFC. How the hell does this happen? Their pass rush is among if not the best in the NFL . Ahmad Bradshaw is one of the top runners in the league and the combination of Hakeem Nicks and Steve Smith is deadly. Maybe Giants fans and players can stop whining about Tom Coughlin when a few things go wrong. "He's too tough...oh no!" You guys can have Wade if you want.
6. Indianapolis Colts- Peyton is still Peyton and this team will always find a way to be in the mix.
7. Green Bay Packers- Despite being decimated with injuries this team shutout the Jets and shut-up the Jets fans in the Meadowlands. They still have no running game but Aaron Rodgers is an elite quarterback. Their defense is battered but it is resilient as hell. The BeastMaster Clay Matthews also has Erin Andrews dressing up as him to go along with his 9.5 sacks. Not a bad sign for the pack.
8. Atlanta- I'm waiting for Roddy White to bring the dirty bird back. This team is playing well and Matt Ryan is a beast. Their division is wide open and the NFC is terrible in general. Look for the dirty birds to flutter their wings come January.
9. Kasas City- I think people are still blinking their eyes when they see that this team is 5-2. You can stop blinking. They're schedule the rest of the way is powder puff and they have a legitimate team. Cassell is overrated but this defense can play ball.
10. New Orleans Saints- As much as people have cried out Super Bowl hangover the Saints are 5-3 despite playing with their 8th string running back. The sun is far from setting for those freaks down in New Orleans.
11. Tennessee- Whether its strip-club brawling Vince Young or Alcoholics Anonymous member Kerry Collins at the helm for the Titans, this team seems to be able to find ways to win. (They did lose to San Diego last week but that team was bound to win one) They claimed Randy Moss today so if he plays with any effort, the injury to Kenny Britt should be negligible. Hopefully Tennessee has good food.
12. Miami Dolphins- Despite Spagnola's creepy-guy glasses, he has a fiery personality that is perfect for this team. Henne is underrated and Marshall is filthy. Their 3 losses are to really good teams and they should have won two of them. They also have a defense that can make plays. They will be a tough team to deal with down the stretch.
13. Philadelphia Eagles- There really should be no QB controversy here. Michael Vick is back to making defenses dump in their pants and the Eagles offense will do the same again as long as Vick doesn't have his ribs caved in. His return should put the Eagles right back into the NFC race. Andy Reid's house is still a drug emporium so he can go to hell.
14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-The fact that Raheem Morris could say that the Bucs are the best team in the NFC with a straight face is impressive. Surely he knows better than that, and if he doesn't he's an idiot. No one is scared of the surprising Buccaneers but they do have captain clutch, Josh Freeman. This kid could be an emerging star. Unfortunately he's playing in a city that is plagued with Asian buffets and homeless people.
15. Houston Texans- This team is floating in the middle of a good division and they could go either way. They have the talent to be a great team but have played like a mediocre one so far this season. Their offense has too many weapons for them not to factor into the AFC playoff race.
16. St. Louis Rams- I would say surprise team of the year but that division is the porta-potty of the NFL. Bradford will be a bonafide stud for years to come in this league and their defense has a stockpile of young talent that will emerge under the guidance of Spags. If they switch back to the old blue and yellow uniforms and Steven Jackson rocks the Dickerson goggles again this team could swipe the NFC West.
17. Chicago Bears- I understand Cutler is a diabetic but does he always have to play like one? Luckily their defense has regained form.
18. Oakland Raiders- Did Al Davis die and no one notice? Maybe someone forgot to check on him in his office and he's rotting on his throne. Raiders fans can only hope so because their team has looked like the 2000 Rams in the past two games, putting on a scoring clinic. Who would have ever thought Heyward-Bey would ever score a touchdown?
19. San Diego Chargers- Oh Norv Turner, Norv Turner. You and Wade Phillips have desecrated talented teams time and time again, and both of you deserve to never coach again. Antonio Gates may be the best offensive player in the NFL and Phillip Rivers is still a top tier QB. Amazingly, the Chargers are ranked in the top 5 in both total defense and offense...AND THEY STILL SUCK? Look for them to make a late season grasp in an ever evolving division.
20. Seattle Seahawks- Puzzling team. They either play in an inspired manner or like complete dogshit. Only in the NFC West can such folly go unpunished.
21. Jacksonville Jaguars- David Garrard is actually a black Peyton Manning. At least the Dallas Cowboys think so. MJ-D made the Cowboys defenders look like bowling pins on Sunday but this team is still too inconsistent.
22. Detroit Lions- Stafford is a beast and Megatron (Calvin Johnson) is asserting himself as an unguardable receiver. Their defense is getting after people. For the first time in about a century the Detroit fans have a team to get excited about...next year.
23. Washington Redskins- If Mike Shanahan can make this team a laughingstock and a punching bag for football analysts, then Dan Snyder will never be successful as a GM. That was his job.
24. Minnesota Vikings- Brett Favre's throwing penis interceptions on his phone, Brad Childress is the ugliest coach in the league, and the food in Minnesota apparently sucks. Lions could finish the season ahead of this team.
25. Cincinnati Bengals- Don't expect the pilot episode of this reality show disaster to be picked up for next season.
26. Arizona Cardinals- Matt Leinart must have really sucked because Derek Anderson and Max Hall are pushing the boundaries of pitifulness.
27. Cleveland Browns- This poor city. Lebron James would be the best player on the Cavaliers and the Browns. At least Colt McCoy's girlfriend is a 10-1-10.
28. Dallas Cowboys- Blehhh. I just threw up on myself. At least that will be easier to clean up than this disgrace of a team. I have a few suggestions, however, and they start with the fat man driving the bus.
29. San Francisco 49ers- If the NFL does expand and put a team in the U.K. the niners' should volunteer to move there. It's the only place where they've looked like a real football team.
30. Denver Broncos- Clearly Tim Tebow isn't doing the half-time speeches to motivate this team...I couldn't be happier he's a second string fullback in that city.
31. Buffalo Bills- I heard there is a fan up there who gives away free booze. Hope he has enough for everyone that shows up to black out.
32. Carolina Panthers- 12 points per game. Next question.
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