Okay I know this is supposed to be a Dallas Cowboys/NFL blog but as a NY Mets fan I had to dedicate some time to this latest implementation of the "Team Embarrassment Policy" by the Mets. I heard about this on Mike'd Up...Francesa can't even control himself reading this ridiculous and pathetic list of perks that the Mets are offering to fans who purchase season tickets immediately. I strongly recommend listening to Francesa's take on the list...its hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19V5NufLJ74
Here are a few of the high (or low) lights of this list.
1- Win a chance for Mr. Met to come an event of your creation OR get access to a restricted tunnel to meet Mr. Met outside of his dressing room before a Mets game!
Yeah, that is exactly what I want for Christmas this year. Meet Mr. Met in some dark, secret, underground tunnel and have him show up at his dressing room door with his pants down. That would be a great ball park story: Getting raped by Mr. Met.
Also, why would I want Mr. Met to come to any function that I host? To make sure that I lose every single friend I have? Mr. Met doesn't even talk and unless he's pulling balloons out of his ass he's only going to scare everyone away. No thanks on Mr. Met...tell that clown to get a real job.
2- Announce the starting lineup at a Mets home game!
Could be interesting if you know any of the players on the team.
3. Be an HONORARY member of the PEPSI PARTY PATROL!
Fuck the Pepsi Party Patrol. I've been to my fair share of Mets games and those idiots have never even come close to getting a t-shirt in my vicinity. The chicks with the shirt guns are hot but if I was a member of the patrol and they gave me a shirt gun (which they definitely would not) I would aim it right at that dude on the patrol who break dances before every shirt he throws out. Then I'd take the T-Shirt cannon and aim it at the following. A- Cowbell man B- Oliver Perez C- David Wright and D- Razor Shines
4. Play catch on the field with your child before a home game!
I was having trouble thinking of ways I could waste a couple of months salary but luckily the Mets were one step ahead of me. Instead of playing catch for free in my backyard I can pay $10,000 to do it on Citi field and then watch the Mets lose. Great.
5. A wine tasting with Tom Seaver!
- Fat Mike wanted no part of this and I don't know who would. If I want to hear Tom Seaver talking about himself while drunk I'll take my time machine back to his days on the WB.
6. Be a JUNIOR MET REPORTER!
"As a junior Met reporter your child will interview a Mets player before a 2011 Mets home game...preferably one who speaks English." Well put Francesa.
7. Win a suite party with 16 guests and get $750 worth of food and beverages!
-I guess I'll be bringing my own beer to this one. I couldn't buy a 24 case at Citi for $750. How much would 16 Shake Shack burgers cost?
8. Give the Mets Hi-Fives as they go out onto the field!
Seriously? Last season wasn't degrading enough for these players? I won't be surprised if some little Mets fan catches the team on a bad day and gets a fist in the mouth from let's say K-Rod instead of a Hi-Five.
The Mets ticket and sales department needs to grow up. This isn't fantasy land and this isn't Michael Jackson's play palace. This is baseball and if you want to sell your damn tickets get a team out on the field that Mets fans can get excited about. Also...get rid of Mr. Met. No real, self-respecting franchise should have a mascot. I think it's safe to say the Mets have embraced the abyss of embarrassment with arms wide open.
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